Beyond the Institution: Building Lasting Relationships That Transcend Uniforms and Titles
The Power of Shared Experiences
This past weekend, I attended a Founder’s Day Brunch in Santa Monica, an annual gathering of West Point alumni and incoming cadet candidates. It was a room filled with accomplished professionals—business owners, lawyers, doctors, engineers, artists, and more—each with a shared history tied to one institution.
The event featured speeches from various alumni, including the youngest commissioned Army officer and the oldest living graduate, a member of the Class of 1951. Listening to their stories reminded me of the powerful bond we all share through our experiences at West Point. It’s a connection rooted in discipline, perseverance, and shared struggles.
However, as I looked across the room at the youngest cadet candidates, I couldn’t help but reflect:
What truly sustains relationships over time?
While institutions like West Point create the foundation, the strongest relationships are built beyond the uniform—through personal connections, emotional investment, and meaningful interactions that extend past titles and ranks.
Preparing for the Journey: More Than Just a Cadet
For those about to enter the academy, preparation isn’t just about physical endurance—it’s about mental discipline and relationship-building.
At the event, the Command Sergeant Major of West Point emphasized a simple truth: “You have to do hard things.” That doesn’t just mean grueling physical training. It means:
• Waking up early even when you don’t want to.
• Practicing self-discipline in every area of life.
• Setting goals and pushing through discomfort.
• Learning your craft and sharpening your skills before you even step foot in training.
But just as important as discipline is the ability to build real relationships.
I wish someone had told me before I entered West Point that relationships shouldn’t just be about shared struggles or military life. They should be about real connections—getting to know your peers beyond their rank, spending time with their families, and forming bonds that will last far beyond graduation.
Graduating Soon? Strengthen Your Connections Now
For cadets on the verge of graduating, this is a pivotal moment.
In just a few months, many will go their separate ways, taking on different roles in
the military, transitioning to civilian careers, or even moving to different countries.
Some of your closest classmates today may eventually leave the uniform behind and
enter industries you never imagined.
This is why now—before graduation—is the time to:
• Invest in deeper friendships. Go beyond the surface-level camaraderie of training and military duties.
• Spend time outside of structured environments. Grab coffee, play sports, attend church together—build connections beyond work.
• Connect with mentors and professors. Many high-ranking professionals have invaluable networks. A single conversation now could open doors in the future.
The relationships you nurture now will shape your opportunities later. You never know who will become a future business partner, a trusted friend, or even a key mentor in your life.
Why Emotional Bonds Matter in the Long Run
Years from now, when you attend an alumni event like Founder’s Day, what will bring you and your classmates back together.
It won’t be just the memory of training in the summer heat or pulling all-nighters for exams—it will be the personal bonds formed through genuine connection.
I realized this firsthand at the brunch. Conversations didn’t start with “What was your rank?” or “What company were you in?” Instead, they started with:
• “I remember when we took that weekend trip together!”
• “Your family hosted me during break—how are they doing?”
• “We struggled through that one class together and helped each other get through it!”
These are the relationships that withstand time. These are the connections that turn into lifelong friendships, business partnerships, and professional networks.
If you only build relationships based on shared institutions, what happens when that institution is no longer part of your life? When you transition out of the military or change industries, will you still have strong connections, or will you drift apart?
That’s why it’s so important to tie your relationships to real emotional bonds, not just shared experiences.
Lessons to Take Away
1. Shared experiences are a foundation, but not the glue. Your alma mater, military unit, or workplace may bring you together, but it’s personal investment that keeps relationships alive.
2. Prepare beyond the physical. Before entering a rigorous institution, build mental resilience and relationship-building skills.
3. Connect deeply before transitions. If you’re about to graduate, invest in quality time with classmates, mentors, and professors.
4. Stay in touch beyond the job title. When reconnecting years later, make it about the person, not just the profession.
Call to Action: Strengthen Your Bonds Today
Whether you’re a student, a military professional, or a working professional—start building stronger relationships today.
• Reach out to a classmate and have a conversation that goes beyond work.
• Connect with a mentor and seek advice beyond just career paths.
• Spend quality time with peers outside of structured environments.
Years from now, you’ll look back and realize these small moments were the ones that truly mattered.
Build relationships that last beyond the uniform. Because at the end of the day, it’s not the institution that defines your bond—it’s the connection you’ve built with people.
